Breakfast
by m klindt
Summary: Napoleon gets more than he bargans for when he stops at Illya's apartment for breafast on the way to work


Breakfast

By M. Klindt

I do not own these characters and have not rights, but I enjoy borrowing for my little story. Thank you for reading. This is part of my "Lexi" series.

Napoleon Solo walked off the elevator on the fifth floor of his apartment building to Illya Kuryakin's front door. It had been a long week boring of THRUSH surveillance and it'd taken him all day yesterday to complete the paperwork even with Illya's help before taking the night off away from each other. Both of them had to be at UNCLE headquarters by nine to debrief Mr. Waverly. He'd thought Illya would want to grab some breakfast before going in.

Strange, Solo thought as he got closer to the door. He could hear rock and roll music loudly playing coming from his apartment. It was odd for the usually quiet friend, who mostly preferred jazz, to play music loud enough to be heard outside into the hall. Just as Napoleon was about to knock, the door swung open.

"Oh, Napoleon! Hi, come on in," Lexi said, catching him off guard.

Monica Alexis Lane stood in front of Solo, right hand on the door jam and her left behind the door. Boy, she was a sight! Her mused up auburn hair that fell in waves around her face, sapphire blue eyes that sparkled, a perky nose in mid crinkle, and pink pouty lips.

Then he looked down, taking in the sight as his breath caught in his throat. She was leaning into the doorway wearing Illya's thin, pajama top with only one button cinched in a most strategic spot and bikini underwear. Evidence of her latest injuries from the two gunshot wounds marked her left side, but was fading away. Her body was muscular, but softer than the last time he'd seen her when she left the UNCLE headquarters medial ward. It was only yesterday when she was introduced as Monica Lane instead of Alexana Kuryakin as he knew her.

Illya's supposed cousin, but she was turning out to be much more. She was his partner growing up in an experiment to make young children into killing machines for their now dead Uncle Boris Kuryakin and the Soviet Union.

"Napoleon," Lexi sang out seductively to bring him back from ogling her, frozen to the spot. He gave her a shaky smile and walked in.

"Lexi, how are you?" He asked when he found his voice.

"I'm fine." She brought her right arm up to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, rubbing up against him. She had an earthy smell about her to Napoleon. "Have you eaten breakfast?"

"No, not yet," the CEA said tracking her movements with his eyes as she drifted into the kitchen. "I was just going to invite Illya to breakfast on the way…"

From the bedroom, Napoleon could hear Illya shout something to Lexi in a language he couldn't understand and looked at her for translation.

"Yes, I'm decently dressed, this time!" She called out in English as she smiled at Solo and upwardly rolled her eyes.

_Thwart! _A knife sailed by Solo and hit the wall by the door. Startled, he looked from the knife to Lexi who simply turned back to the stove. She'd had the knife in her left hand behind the door when she'd greeted him. He preferred having his gun ready, but a knife was just as handy.

Another growl from his partner came from the bedroom and he waited to see how Lexi was going to respond.

"No, I didn't just mark up your walls by throwing my knife, much." She winked at Napoleon who suppressed a smile, grabbed the handle of the knife, pulled hard to dislodge it, and place it lightly on the table.

"How do you like your eggs? I know, I'll make you an omelet!"

"Sounds wonderful," he said, sitting down at the breakfast bar to watch her. He could smell the gourmet coffee and bacon that crept into his thoughts.

Lexi was an efficient cook. She placed bread into the toaster, poured the egg mixture into the skillet, and grabbed a cup for the coffee.

"You must have brought all of this with you." Napoleon thought out loud as she passed him a freshly poured cup of coffee. Milk and sugar were already on the counter. "I know that Illya's cupboards are usually bare."

"Yes, I did," Lexi said as she smiled inwardly and then flicked a quick knowing glance at him. "For services rendered last night and this morning."

He almost choked on his coffee and had to forcibly cough to clear his throat. Lexi just hummed to herself and she acted as if she hadn't said a word. Now he knew for sure that they were more than just two people thrown together by family and the Soviet Union.

"Ah, Lexi?" Napoleon finally squeaked out. "How was your first day at UNCLE?"

"It went better than I thought," she said as she added vegetables and cheese to her eggs. "So far everyone seems unaware that I was that crazy person in the Medical a few weeks ago, but I'm to have a physical and fitness assessment today. I'll have to tell Dr. Allen and Dr. Thompson who I really am, because I know they'll become too suspicious that I've so much knowledge of a dead person's formulas and then there are my scars, bruises, and list of broken bones..."

"The ones that I can see seem to be healing well," Napoleon said as he took another sip of his coffee.

"Thank you," she smiled, bowed, and then passed him a plate with a perfectly prepared omelet. "Now for Illya's…"

"Are you up to having a fitness test today?"

"I don't know." Lexi shrugged her shoulders. "I've been running, started doing sit-ups last week, and some pulls ups to check my left arm strength. I have been wearing a modified arm brace that hinges at the elbow. Hand-to-hand combat might be more challenging if the person is a great deal heavier than me…"

"As your CEA, I don't know if I should allow it." Solo raised an eyebrow at her over the brim of his coffee cup.

"You're not showing preferential treatment already, are you Napoleon?"

"I could you know. What does Illya say?"

"I haven't said anything to him. He doesn't need to be concerned by this little matter. He knows that I can handle it myself. Besides, I bet you even odds that my first month at UNCLE will be to catalog my formulas, compare them with ones used by other spy groups, and then classify them to current technology used today. I was just reading an article…"

"Enough!" He put his fork down and raised his hands. "I don't want to hear about chemicals or anything else that you need a Masters or PhD in. I want know something else though."

"Well, you brought it up." Lexi sighed sourly and went back to working on the food she had just started. "What else do you want to know?"

"What I want to know is…why I didn't notice you before as one of Illya's girlfriends?"

Lexi stopped watching the eggs cooking and leaned close to Napoleon with her face inches from his. "How often have you seen women stay over in Illya's apartment?"

"None," Napoleon said slowly as he thought about it. "I mean, I've been on dates with him and other women, but we didn't stick around together at the end of the night or discuss details…"

"I have no control over him or who he dates," Lexi said intently. "I usually don't stay the night here. It's mostly at my place where we end up when we find time together. We've kept are involvement with each other under strict control. Now you're allowed to know about Illya and me, I can stay longer in the mornings…"

As if right on cue, Illya came out of the bedroom dressed and ready for work. His hair was still wet from the shower.

"Morning, Napoleon," he addressed his friend calmly as if having Lexi in his apartment was perfectly normal and happened every day.

Napoleon nodded as his partner passed him, looked at his wall and the knife mark, sighed, and then walked up right behind Lexi in the small kitchen to rest his chin lightly on her shoulder. She was a few inches shorter than him making it easy for him to whisper something in her ear. Lexi smiled, while continuing to finish what she was doing. Then Illya put his right arm around her and took the plate of food in front of her. With the other one, he brought his arm up to show her the time on his watch and grabbed the mug with tea.

Lexi swore to herself, took a slice of toast, bit into it, and swung under Kuryakin's raised arm.

"I'm going to be late if I don't hurry!" Lexi said in a rush as she rounded the breakfast bar, dropped the toast on the counter, and stopped to stand in front of Napoleon. She placed her hand high on his thigh, and looked him straight into his eyes. "Did I pass?"

"Pass?"

"Oh, Napoleon," Lexi said with a frustrated sigh while she pushed herself between his legs, drawing closer to him, placing her arms around his shoulders and neck, but never breaking eye contact.

"Ah…what are you doing," Napoleon asked in confusion, reacting to her closeness; the feel of her intense stare, the warmth of her body, and her hands caressing his shoulders. He tried not to react with Illya standing two feet away in the kitchen eating his breakfast, but it was difficult. He was losing his ability to resist her, nor did he want to.

Lexi then placed her hands on his face and drew him up into a soft, melting kiss. Afraid to react, Napoleon remained frozen as he closed his eyes and one of his legs gave a sudden jerk.

Then, she suddenly withdrew from him. His eyes fluttered open as he savored the taste her kiss on his lips. Coming to his senses, he could hear her start to laugh as he still was unable to move from her unexpected actions.

"Doesn't UNCLE test their agents on the skills of seduction? That you, being the Chief Enforcement Agent, would be the first one a female field operatives must test their abilities on? I, as a KGB operative have been tested in this art yearly. Maybe, UNCLE is not as advanced in its training as I thought, but I know that I can still get a reaction."

With that Lexi smiled, picked up a piece of bacon from Solo's plate, trotting out of the room, and into the bedroom to get ready for a shower.

Still stunned by Lexi's actions, Napoleon turned back to the breakfast bar and laid his head on it as if totally wiped out and then glared at Illya who appeared unaffected by this wanton act of hers.

"Napoleon, pick your jaw off the ground. It's embarrassing."

"The term is off the floor, not ground." Napoleon swallowed hard. "I think I need a cold shower!"

"I told you that she's a lot of trouble to have around, but you wouldn't listen." Illya smirked as he quickly took his final bite of his breakfast. "I also told you she was trained to manipulate men."

"It doesn't bother you?" He asked, still in shock.

"There are times when it does, but all in all, that's what she was trained to do. I've choose another way to act. I could, if I wanted to, have any number of women at my beckon call. I just prefer to be more conservative and secretive, but if I have to, I will do what is necessary to complete the mission.

"Alas, it's much easier to leave that part of job up to you when I can. I hate dealing with clingy females who want a commitment. Lexi isn't into ultimatums about who has slept with whom." Illya simply shrugged he raised a playful eyebrow to the great womanizer. "We're not always together or available when the desire hits…"

"Lucky you, I guess." Napoleon sadly stated, remembering some of the troubles he's had with certain women he has seduced.

"Well, we'd better go." The orderly blond said as he placed the dishes in the sink. "I'll get these later, or Lexi will."

"Aren't we going to wait for her?" Napoleon asked as he started to grab his coat and straightened his tie.

"No, it would be noticed if she were to show up with us. We can't have the gossip wheel already starting up on the second day." Illya said casually. He sometimes acted ignorant to the use of American slang when he wanted to irritate his partner with false ignorance.

"That's gossip mill, not wheel." Napoleon pointed out as Kuryakin ruefully grinned while he reached for the door handle.

"Another good reason to leave now is not to be here when she finds out that I've used up all the hot water."

"Illya, that isn't very nice of you." Solo said with devilish grunt.

"Don't worry about that she-wolf in there; it's payback for her prank with you and for marking up my wall."

Moments after they shut the apartment door and began to walk into the elevator, they could here Lexi scream a curse out with Illya's name attached to it and the loud bang against it.

"Bar of soap?" Napoleon asked, waiting for the elevator doors to close.

"Shampoo bottle," Illya stated, leaning his head on the far wall, concentrating on the nature of the sound as the metal doors closed.


End file.
